I talk a lot about the pandemic on here — probably too much. I’m sure a shrink would have something to say about my seeming obsession with it.
However, I still see it as a dividing line in my life. There was me before the pandemic, and there is me after. And those two people are wildly different.
I mention this (again) specifically because I’ve become something of a hermit. Well…let me rephrase: I have become a hermit.
I barely go out anymore. I haven’t been inside a grocery store more than four or five times in the last year. If I do go out, it’s usually to the movie theater in town, sometimes to a restaurant if I’m with friends. Otherwise, I’m home…mostly, I’m home.
Obviously, the “rubric” of the pandemic — being indoors, working from home, ordering groceries, avoiding people, etc. — got me started on the hermit lifestyle. Then I added DoorDash, spending entire weekends inside, on and on, until most things are now a chore.
I could feel the change happening in me long after the world opened back up. I felt like I had to exert the greatest of strength just to make it to baseline wellbeing. It just kept getting more and more difficult.
Today, taking a shower, getting dressed, cooking food, cleaning up, washing clothes, taking care of myself, etc., are all annoyances that I avoid. I wish it weren’t true, but sadly, it is.
That’s why I’m on a mission to get out of my funk. I am determined this year to completely un-hermit myself.
I’m going to make plans with my family, go on day trips with them and enjoy their company. I’m going to make plans with friends, whether it’s just going to lunch or meeting in Savannah for a night on the town. I need to air out — physically and emotionally. I’m willing to submit to accountability and social pressure to make that happen.
I’m hoping, too, that getting back into photography will get me outside more often. The desire to take pictures might lead me to walk around Statesboro or Savannah, looking for something that sparks interest — a creative treasure hunt of sorts.
I have to do something. Something has to give.
It’s easier, of course, to do nothing, but I can feel the weight of it now. Doing nothing is exhausting me, draining me of motivation and excitement and engagement. This is one of my most important goals this year. All the others hinge upon my ability to get out and do something.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash
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